Forgiveness
Questions for Discussion
1. How would you describe your religious tradition’s general attitude toward forgiveness?
2. Describe an experience in which you were willing or unwilling to forgive someone for a something they did that truly hurt you.
3. Does your religious tradition distinguish between asking forgiveness from God and from people whom you may have wronged? If so, what are those distinctions?
4. Are there particular customs in your tradition that facilitate requesting or granting forgiveness?
5. Are there limits to forgiveness and if so, what do you believe they are?
Christian Texts on Forgiveness
Matthew 5:7
Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy.
Matthew 5:44 King James Version (KJV)
44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Matthew 18:21-22
21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.
JOHN 20:21-23 KING JAMES VERSION (KJV)
21 Then said Jesus to them again, Peace be unto you: as my Father hath sent me, even so send I you. 22 And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and saith unto them, Receive ye the Holy Ghost:23 Whose soever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained.
James 5: 16-17
16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. 17 Elias was a man subject to like passions as we are, and he prayed earnestly that it might not rain: and it rained not on the earth by the space of three years and six months.
“As long as we blame someone for anything, we are angry and resentful, and we desire to punish or get even or hurt somebody, but we usually hurt ourselves. If we give up blaming we will not only forgive, but we relieve the pressure under which we are living. To carry a grudge is a very crippling mental condition. Now, how can we give up blaming if we feel like blaming? If someone acts injuriously or wrongly against us, we must understand that it is ignorance that is controlling his thinking. So, we are victims of ignorance rather than an individual child of God, who is malevolent.”
Thomas Hora (1914-1995), psychiatrist and spiritual teacher, from “Forgiveness and the Healing of Compulsions” http://www.pagl.org/wp-content/uploads/FORGIVENESS1.pdf
“Mercy will flower only when it grows in the crannies of the rock of Justice: transplanted to the marshlands of mere Humanitarianism, it becomes a man-eating weed, all the more dangerous because it is still called by the same name as the mountain variety.”
C. S. Lewis, (1898-1963), Christian author and theologian, from God in the Dock (1949)
IslamicTexts on Forgiveness
Surah Al-Anam 6 Verse 54
When those come to thee who believe in Our signs, Say: “ Peace be upon you: Your Lord had inscribed for Himself Mercy :verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended , lo! He is oft -Forgiving , Most Merciful.”
Surah Al-Imran 3: Verses134-135
(Believers are) those who give in times of both ease and adversity, those who control their rage and pardon other people...”
Surah Maida 5:39
But if anyone repents after his wrong doing and put things right ,God will turn towards him. God is Ever forgiving , Most Merciful.
Thus saith the Lord, “Verily those who are patient in adversity and forgive wrongs, are the doers of Excellence.”
Hadith:
Once Muhammed, peace be upon Him (PBUH) was asked, “O Apostle of God ! How many times are we to forgive our servants faults?” He was silent. Again the questioner asked, and Muhammed PBUH gave no answer. But when the man asked at third time, he said, “ Forgive your servants seventy times a day”.
That person is nearest to God, who pardoneth, when he hath in his power him who hath injured him .
Do not say, that if people do good to us, we will do good to them; and if people oppress us we will oppress them; but determine , that if people do you good, you will do good to them; and if people oppress you, you will not oppress them .
Dr. Hassan Adds
In Islam the basic teaching is that wrongs committed against God can be forgiven by God only, while wrongs committed against men/women have to be forgiven by them, thus we should ask for forgiveness, even if the other party refuses.
When we go for Hajj /Pilgrimage we call all those we know (to the best of our ability) seeking forgiveness for any wrong we may have committed over our life time. Those Muslims who are practicing their Faith, will ask for forgiveness as they leave a gathering, stating, if I have said or done anything wrong please forgive me. (This way the matter is cleared then and there.) Hopefully!
Jewish Texts on Forgiveness
The Lord! The Lord! a God compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in kindness and faithfulness, extending kindness to the thousandth generation, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin; yet He does not remit all punishment, but visits the iniquity of parents upon children and children’s children, upon the third and fourth generations.
Exodus 34:6-7 (Note: The words in italics are frequently repeated in Jewish prayer especially on Yom Kippur but also on other holidays.)
It is said that Rabbi Eliezer once stepped down before the Ark and recited the twenty-four benedictions [for fast days] and his prayer was not answered. Rabbi Akiva stepped down after him and exclaimed: Our Father, our King, we have no King but Thee; our Father, our King, for Thy sake have mercy upon us; and rain fell. … A Heavenly Voice was heard proclaiming. [The prayer of Rabbi Avika] was answered not because he is greater than the other man, but because he is ever forgiving and the other is not.
Babylonian Talmud, Ta’anit (Fasts) 25b, 6th century CE
Repentance and the Day of Atonement atone only for sins, such as eating a forbidden food, having prohibited intercourse, et cetera, which are committed against God. Sins such as injuring, cursing, stealing, et cetera, which are committed against one’s fellow man are never atoned for until one has paid any necessary fines to the person against whom one sinned, and discussed it with him. Even though one may have paid back any due money one still has to discuss the sin with him and ask for forgiveness. Even if one teased someone else just verbally one has to appease him and make up for it, in order that he will forgive one. If the person against whom one had sinned did not want to forgive one then one has to ask him for forgiveness in front of three of his friends. If he still didn’t want to forgive one then one asks him in front of six, and then in front of nine, of his friends, and if he still didn’t want to forgive him one leaves him and goes away. Anybody who does not want to forgive is a sinner. If one had to ask one’s Rabbi for forgiveness, one has to approach him even a thousand times until one receives forgiveness.
It is forbidden for one to be harsh and non-appeasing. One should rather be forgiving and slow to anger, and whenever a sinner asks one for forgiveness one should grant it wholeheartedly. Even if the sinner had distressed one considerably and sinned against one a lot, one should/may not take revenge or bear a grudge…
Maimonides (1135-1204, Spain), The Laws of Repentance, 2:9-10
No one can forgive crimes committed against other people. It is therefore preposterous to assume that anybody alive can extend forgiveness for the suffering of any one of the six million people who perished [in the Holocaust]. According to tradition, even God Himself can only forgive sins committed against Himself, not against man.
Abraham Joshua Heschel (1907-1972), from The Sunflower: On the Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness, Simon Wiesenthal, 1969. (Note Heschel’s words are part of his response to the following situation which Simon Wiesenthal experienced and wrote about: “You are in a
prisoner in a concentration camp. A dying Nazi soldier asks for your forgiveness. What
should you do?)